Why I Am Afraid

I am afraid.
I’m afraid of growing up.
Afraid of waking up one day, and saying
– gosh I’ve been so old
so old. All this time.

And never taking risks
when the time was right.
and never striking gold beyond the
safeties of the castles in my mind.

I am afraid.
I’m afraid of growing up
afraid to tend to more, more than
the ghosts that plague my head
and how they sober me to sleep.

and never understanding
full the things that I create,
or of the people that I meet.

I am afraid.
I’m afraid of growing up
Afraid of never staying up some night again
a night like this to write
some battered poetry.

and never really learning
why I never fell in love
and never understanding why
she never could love me

I am afraid.
Not of the creatures of the night
for people tell me its all
tricks and figments of the mind.

and that the world is what
you see, and that’s the world you get
and that I’ll live like all the rest of them
that there’s nothing beyond that.

I am afraid.
But now that, I know that I am
Perhaps, it will be different
For I finally understand

Why, I am afraid.

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